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Egyptian Elections, Game of Thrones Edition

May 21, 2012

A guide of the Egyptian elections and its main protagonists, explained for Game of Thrones fans.

 

The comparisons are of course very approximate, I am not familiar with the books and it’s the first time I’ve read fan wikis so I’m not up to date with the complex relations between characters. In effect, I only watch the series while I’m eating dinner, so hardcore fans will forgive me.

This is meant to entertain. If you feel that I have insulted your favourite candidate, I suggest you go french-kiss a dragon.

Here goes.

Mohamed Morsy is Joffrey ‘Baratheon’ (Lannister)

The daft and vicious son of the inbred family of the ‘Lannister Brotherhood’, he’s an important character almost by sheer accident.

Though it was King Robert Baratheon who won the civil war against the Mad King, the ‘Lannister Brotherhood’ betrayed him, passed their own bastard son as the Revolution’s (come on! He’s blond!)  and promptly put their own goons in Parliament.

They are now attempting to convince people to keep supporting them, by alternatively chopping heads off, and handing out oil and sugar wrapped in cellophane stamped with the Brotherhood’s banner.

If his and his clan’s rule is maintained, expect much pain and violence to befall the Seven Kingdoms of Egypt.

Abdel Moneim Aboul Fotouh is Tyrion Lannister

Also the son of the inbred Lannister Brotherhood family. He is however smarter than most of them. He has always been an outsider, and because he’s the family’s “imp”, he has little chance of acceding to the throne. He is however a smart man, and may yet surprise.

Hamdeen Sabbahi is Stannis Baratheon

The son of the Revolution. He’s not a very good warrior, but he has one of the strongest claims to the throne in the electoral show really, but you can’t help but watch and feel that he’s going to get screwed royally. And that he’s never going to win that battle. In fact, you wonder whether other armies actually realise that he’s taking part in the war to begin with.

Ahmed Shafiq is Viserys Targarian

Although his daddy was deposed in the war, Ahmed Shafiq still believes the throne belongs to him, and will lie, cheat, kill in order to get there. As Daenerys described him, “he would let a thousand men rape me if it brought him closer to the throne”.

Expect an end for Shafiq not very different to that of Viserys Targarian (who was killed by a crown of molten gold). Legally of course. There will be justice in the Seven Kingdoms of Egypt, eventually.

Khaled Ali is Jon Snow

He’s truly a good man. And like Jon Snow is a virgin down there, Khaled Ali is a political virgin up here.

As the war rages in the South, Jon Snow goes beyond the wall, further north, further away. He probably won’t be king in his lifetime, but he will assuredly have a great role in the future. Good men are always needed.

SCAF is the Small Council.

A pimp, a eunuch, a horny old man: very fitting. And both councils scheme, have a track record of betrayal, a lot of power, and no balls.

Amr Moussa is the Spice King.

 It’s the chin, man, the chin!

Not only does he severely lack passion, but to him everything is quantifiable, everything is a transaction. Through not from noble origins, he’s pretty much forgotten what the ‘man on the street’ looks like, and will make people wait for him just for the sake of it. He is also a man not acquainted to disagreement.

Bothaina Kamel is Daenerys  Targarian.

No, it’s not a comparison based on looks (look at you, objectifying female politicians! Shame!)

Because even though the war rages, she spent the last 18 episodes trying to find a goddamn ship just to GET to the battlefield…

If you have any comments or suggestions, drop them below!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. May 22, 2012 4:46 am

    I wish I was following Game of Thrones. My only solace is that I’m living through the election. Even better I guess!

  2. May 22, 2012 5:51 am

    This is by far one of the funniest comparisons that I have ever read, Good Job!

  3. May 22, 2012 7:18 am

    Excellent! I’m a GoT fan, so now I understand Egyptian politics! :-)

  4. May 22, 2012 8:43 am

    Sarah: You can start now – it’s simple: most people are bad guys, all want the throne. See?
    Khaled: Thanks!!
    Reb Barry: Wonderful! by all means feel free to weigh in/correct me as you see fit…

  5. May 22, 2012 5:43 pm

    brilliant. absolutely brilliant.

  6. Hashim permalink
    May 24, 2012 4:06 am

    This is brilliant man…bravo

  7. January 27, 2013 10:31 am

    ABSOLUTELY AGREE with Khalid. WONDERFUL comparison, and incredibly hilarious!! I’m glad I came across this!

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